Decompression 101

"What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for the noble causes and make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we have gone" Winston Churchill, October 10, 1908

Just what exactly is a balanced life? More precisely, what is a balanced life for an entrepreneur? Let me start with what it is NOT. It is not the business equivalent of the separation of church and state. It is not that at the end of the day when you go home, you leave the business behind. Yet, it is also not the modern (or American) self centered workaholic who never sees his family and arrives at his son's high school graduation wondering where all those wonderful family years went. Here's another angle so you can pick up what I'm puttin' down. Balance is not about doing less but doing more. Decompression from the stresses of being an entrepreneur is not about leaving the business behind. It seems like a contradiction but the best way to take a load off your shoulders is to do more. Specifically, more of the right stuff.

You have to find your own rhythm. My friend Robert is an entrepreneur in Canada. He starts work at 3 or 4 AM every day and takes a break to spend time with his young son at 7ish. He works all day till about 4 and then knocks off till about 8. He works for a couple more hours and then goes to play hockey from 10 to midnight. He does this every day and runs his own (very successful) marketing company. It works for him. Conformance to the "norm" is not the entrepreneurs strong suit. Winston Churchill was famous for his schedule. Up at 8. Nap from 2-4. Work till 8. Dinner till 10 then work till 2AM. I'm not implying that you HAVE to have an abnormal schedule. Just forget about what anyone else thinks and have confidence in what works for you.

80% of business is boring. Even for entrepreneurs. It's the 20% that we live for. In the same vein, you must be much more than a businessperson. Churchill found painting to be his muse. Write poetry. Restore classic cars. Volunteer at a worthwhile social organization. Sculpt or take up woodworking. Build furniture. Take a foreign language class or go fly-fishing. Teach a class. One of my favorite entrepreneurs and friends has been teaching an MBA class at his Alma mater, and I recently listened to him talk about the all the self-entitled millennial students in his last class. It was killing him to teach a class with students having such a chip on their shoulders. So, why does he do it? Why is he teaching again this semester? Because it is fulfilling for him, the class is a strong reminder of the basics that drive him, and he deeply wants to give back. Why the heck else would he do it? You have to be disciplined in paying attention to details to be successful. You have to live in the boring and you counteract the pressure of the boring by doing interesting and fulfilling things. Churchill once said "Change is the master key, a man can wear out a particular part of his mind by continually using it and tiring it, just in the same way as he can wear out the elbows of his coat." It is the change that Churchill speaks of that ultimately decompresses the mind of talented and absorbed leaders.

So how do I stay on target and refreshed when under tremendous stress? Quite a few ways actually. And I give this list not to brag. It's just an example and I have been thinking this way for a long time...

• I work with wood and create sculptures and furniture.
• I was on the board of a local domestic violence for four years until recently.
• I deeply love my wife and maintain a very active love life.
  
• I love and play with my children.
  
• I read. I love biographies and books about contemporary architecture.
• I get lost in music that I love.
• I pray.
• I am involved in my church.
• I surround myself with excellent people and share great food and wine with them whenever possible.
• I am an avid hunter and love the feel of a high powered rifle. I am an expert marksman.
• I exercise to release built up adrenaline in my system.
• I write poetry. To name a few...

Allow me to close with a marriage allusion. One of the secrets to a lasting marriage is NOT that its a 50/50 relationship. It's 100%/100%. The entrepreneurs business is the spouse of the personal life. They are intimately connected. The secret to balance is not that you remove one from the other, but that 1 + 1 = 3. Intertwining your business and personal life brings vitality to your life and multiplies your effectiveness. Business never leaves my mind, and neither does my family.

Going back to Sir Richard Branson "Entrepreneurship isn't about capital; it's about ideas" You release those ideas and decompress by doing whatever possible to refresh your mind so you can spiral higher and higher. Never give up...on any of it.

The Distance and the Rule of 32

One of the comments to my "What is Success?" blog entry referenced the fortitude it takes to 'go the distance' in business, especially in a start-up. This is a common theme as it NEVER goes according to 'the plan'. So, here is a story. I started my first business in 1997. It was called SECURESHRED and it was a document shredding company. Right before I opened the doors a friend of mine somehow got a VC to give my business plan a look and then give me 30 minutes of his precious time. And I am not trying to sound sarcastic here, I was truly this guys community service for the week (or month). We sat down and he asked me to explain SECURESHRED to him and he quized me. After about 20 minutes he looked at me and said "Colin I don't know if you are going to be successful or not. I don't know beans about your business and furthermore your business is too local for us to consider. So, here is what I can tell you...No matter how good your business plan is, no matter how great you are, no matter how well you have thought through every detail about how to grow SECURESHRED into a successful business...there is ONE thing I can tell you for sure. Here it is; one of two things is going to happen. Growing this business is either going to take twice as long and three times as much money OR three times as long and twice as money as you ever thought or imagined. If I were you I would start planning for that inevitability right now because I promise you it's going to happen."

Well, at 26 years old I thought this jaded, pompous guy was talking down to me and sure as hell didn't like it. But you know what? He was right. It took twice as long and three times the cash. I worked like a dog for three years till I sold it to a national consolidator in May of 2001. There was 18 months when I didn't think I could make it. My house, my car, my everything was in hock. I had to fight to keep my head from spinning on a daily basis. Six days a week and no vacation for three years. Then we grew by 650% a year the last two years we existed as SECURESHRED.

"There is a very, very thin dividing line between survival and failure. You've just got to fight and fight and fight and fight to survive." Richard Branson, Forbes 2006

That VC and I are friends now and I have seen "The Rule of 32" referred to and written about countless times since then. I don't think there is an exception to the rule if the entrepreneur is honest. I am sure that if you asked the founders of Facebook, Salesforce.com or Motricity (I know this one for sure) they all will tell you "'Oh yeah, we thought we would be a LOT bigger by now', 'we were going through money like water going over Niagara Falls', or 'all of the sudden we were not sure how to make it happen'". So, what does it take to go the distance? One of the things it takes to be able to stare the Rule of 32 in the face and know you are going to go through hell for a while. It always takes longer. It is always harder. It always takes more money than you ever thought in your "realistic" plans, hopes and dreams. Call it sticktoitiveness. Call it gumption and inner fortitude. Whatever. You got to have it. Laser focus and peripheral vision at the same time...or what I call Entrepreneurial Peripheral Vision doesn't hurt either. Alas, a subject for another blog.

Quest for Validation

Have you ever heard something off-hand and realized that it was a significant truth? Maybe you were walking by a TV and heard a commentator, or perhaps you were walking through a hotel lobby, or maybe you were at a party. Well, that happened to me a few months ago. I was in some random place and heard...

"At the core of every entrepreneur is a quest for validation..."

It stopped me in my tracks and I fought it at first but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was truth. At the heart of entrepreneurship is innovation and creation and whenever there is true innovation, there are lots of naysayers. Entrepreneurs see through the negative or misunderstanding comments and at some point say "screw it, I am going to prove them wrong. I am going to make this happen because I believe there is meaning and value here". On some level, many people think we are crazy. Even our friends, family and loved ones come along for the ride not because they believe in the innovation/business but because they believe in US.

So, why do we push so hard? Why do so many entrepreneurs get out after the start-up stage? Why do we love the fight and why do some entrepreneurs get bored when we find success? I think it is because we are driven to prove our spouse, our family, our funding partners and our employees that we are not crazy. We are driven to validate our thinking, our philosophical reasons for being, living and working. Perhaps this is elementary to many of you, but I think that it is important to acknowledge our core motivations. In general, our passion does not start with the business - it starts with us. That's THE reason why VC are prone to fund serial entrepreneurs (Once You are Lucky, Twice You're Good, by Sarah Lacy), because they validated their passion once. It's highly likely they will do it again, no matter what the business.

What is Success?

How do you define success? For some people I suppose this is an easy answer, however it is something I have wrestled with. Is it the absence of failure? Is it making money or profit? Is it the lack of stupidity? These all CAN be a component of success, but they are not in and of themselves - success.

A couple of entrepreneurs that I think highly of are Guy Kawasaki and Richard Branson. They each have exceptional perspective and make a great deal of sense to me. To answer the question "What is Success?" I am going to quote the last words from the last chapter from Branson's lastest book "Business Stripped Bare" because it is (obviously) what I believe. Here it is:

"Success for me is whether you have created something that you can be really proud of. Profits are necessary to invest in the next project - and pay the bills, repay investors and reward all the hard work - but that's not all...what matters is whether you've created something special - and whether you've made a real difference to other people's lives. Entrepreneurs, scientists and artists who died as paupers are often the heros"

Now to be clear, I am certainly intent on making a lot of money and one could look at this and say "those are easy words for a billionaire to say". And Branson does have the luxury of sitting in a very high place. But position does not change truth. And that is the truest description of success I have seen in a long long time. What are you going to be proud of today?

King Not a Peasant

I was reminded of something this past week by a close friend and it is worthy of expressing. The situation was that I got upset at one of my customers (specifically an employee of one of my customers). A blessing and a curse of being an entrepreneur is that you feel every beat, every pulse of the business, good and bad. We constantly suffer from what I call "The Crisis of Giving a Damn" - another blog for that one. Alas, I digress.

What happened was that this employee began lobbying others within the organization to use a competitor. This came from a person that I had bent over backward to help and be flexible with. In other words, she made demands one else had made and I said "okay". So, I caught wind of this 'betrayal' and became somewhat upset about it. I called my friend and vented about the situation. After listening to me he reminded me that I was a king and I needed to remember to act like one. Furthermore, this offending person was a peasant and kings don't worry themselves with peasants. I sat back and realized that he was right.

For those of you reading this that don't know me, I am not overly egotistical. I have an ego to be sure but not too much of one. I have taken pains to make sure that my ego is in check, as I have seen how destructive an over-blown ego can be in business. Therefore when I say that I am a king it does not mean I have a god complex, it means that I am high minded. I am trained, I have done things most people can't and I am making a positive difference in the people and market in which I operate. Most of all it means that I have perspective and experience to take the high road in any situation and that I don't think small.

Kings don't deal with peasants. There is never an excuse for rudeness or talking down to anyone, just don't ever give up your throne to a peasant. Take the high road and never be small-minded. I appreciate my friends reminder and I let it go.

Ambien

In an interview around 1997 with Bo Peabody (author: Lucky or Smart - google it) a reporter asked Bo what kept him up at night. Bo replied that what kept him up at night was the fact that he was not up at night. The point is that at that stage of his life and career as an entrepreneur the fact that he had to sleep and could not work all the time bothered him. Ahhhh, speak to me brother. This life, my life is not all roses. I have been struggling with sleep for a long time. I have excepted insomnia as part of the territory but truly, it sucks. Call it worry, stress, an all consuming passion, a combination of the three...whatever you wish but it affects me. At the age of 37 I realize that I have been doing this for so long that it is probably taking a few years (or more) off the end of my life. I try to counteract the lack of sleep (and the stress that causes it) with exercise, good eating, prayer, meaningful conversations with my wife and friends, etc. But it is tough. Tough to let go.

So, I await the telltale effects of the Ambien CR I just took. I can't take another 2AM night. I have to break the cycle. I actually hate resorting to sleep drugs. It bothers me because the act of taking them is an active confirmation that I am not in control. Whew...that last sentence is definately another blog entry.

I could go on about "be careful what you wish for" or how ALL of life is a tradeoff and how if you pursue one passion hard enough then another will suffer, but I won't...because my cheeks are starting to tingle and I am going to snore like a dang wildebeest tonight. Good night.

The Worst Place I Can Be...

The worst place I can be is where I am only thinking my own thoughts. Let that sink in for a minute. This does not mean that I am not smart. I humbly submit that I am a damn smart individual. I was created well and I was made and trained to do great things. What I mean by this is that I am biased. Eventually, any well meaning, intelligent person can fall into the trap of thinking their junk don't stink.

I try to keep myself from falling victim to my own bias by doing two things: surrounding myself with smart people and surrounding myself with an upper class of smart people with exceptional experience (otherwise known as "mentors"). These folks help me to maintain realistic expectations of my environment, corporate funding and management and...dare I say it...sales - the lifeblood of any enterprise. One of my mentors tuned me up recently and pointed out that if I was frustrated by only hitting half of my sales goals for PromoPipeline then I simply needed to double or triple my prospecting efforts. It's not rocket science. I was over thinking it and not being steady, consistent and focused on the sales process. Needless to say, he was RIGHT and over the past month I have made great progress.

With any truely innovative product (like PromoPipeline.com) it takes convincing and - more importantly - it takes focused and concerted effort to find early adopters. It's hard, menial work. It's entrepreneurial work and I embrace it. Sure as I embrace being shaken out of my own skull from time to time.

Who Are You?

Do you know? Do you really know your strengths and weaknesses? Do you know what will make you feel fulfilled? Are you working just because "it's a job"? Does your bosses boss know who you are and what your value is to the organization? Do you know what you want out of your business idea?

Whenever someone approaches me seriously about a business idea I ask the question "What do you want?" What follows is most often a litany of what the business of the future is all about. When they finish, I ask the question again. My point is that before you get to the business you must first understand yourself, deeply. Why do you want to do it? Is it for independence? Is it for money? Is it to "stick it to the man?" Or perhaps, is it to do something meaningful in some small way? What are you prepared to do to make your dreams come true? What sacrifices are you willing to make?

The answer to these questions are one of the key to success in business, more importantly they are the key to being at peace with yourself. Additionally, a deep understanding of who you are and what your best roll is in a fast growing organization, is necessary to work with me.

Negotiation.

I'll start with a lesson that I have expressed for years to friends and business associates and it has everything to do with living a fulfilled business life. It is the beginning of understanding successful negotiation of any kind. Here it is, the only power or leverage that anyone has in a negotiation is the ability to say "no". You must be able to walk away. If you cannot walk away, then a smart person on the other side will figure this out and at that moment he/she has you. You will get paid less, you will get less of what you want, an employer will treat you differently, etc.

To be clear, this is not about manipulation. This is about practicality. Part of any good ("good" can be, but is not the same as "successful") negotiation is about mutual respect and some acknowledgment that there is a mutual goal. But if you cannot walk away, in some form or fashion, you are screwed. I have experienced this a few times in life and business and I hate it. Recently, it happened to me in selling my office building and also in ending a business relationship. I could not walk away and, you guessed it, I got screwed. On some level, this is okay. It is part of learning. I work hard and consciously try to organize my life so that I can always say "NO".